Dear life, Today Gravity Felt Heavier
Today I learned that my dog has terminal cancer. He's still here, still smiling, and still himself-and somehow that makes knowing what's coming even harder. This is about loving him through the time we have left.
8/13/20261 min read
Dear Life,
The only loss of gravity I felt today was finding out that my dog has a terminal illness.
Cancer.
We don’t even know exactly what kind yet, but somehow the word terminal is enough to make everything around you feel different.
He’s still here. He’s still eating. He’s still drinking water. He still smiles at me. He still looks like him. And maybe that’s what makes this so incredibly hard.
How do you look at someone you love, see life still shining through them, and somehow accept that you’re going to have to lose them?
Today, I don’t feel strong. I don’t feel inspirational. I don’t feel like there’s some beautiful lesson I’m supposed to pull from this.
I just feel sad.
I look at him resting and wonder how much time we have. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if I’m doing enough. I wonder how I’m ever supposed to know when loving him means holding on and when loving him means letting him go.
Maybe I don’t need those answers today.
Maybe today I just sit beside him.
Maybe I scratch his head a little longer. Let him have the extra treat. Take the picture. Tell him he’s a good boy for the thousandth time. Let him know that whatever happens next, he is loved beyond anything he could ever understand.
Today gravity feels a little heavier.
And for now, I’m just going to stay here with him.
Love,
Deena
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